Personal Topic: Depression

A couple years ago I had a hard time being happy. I was miserable to a point where I felt the need to seek medical attention. I needed assistance dealing with my mood, my well-being and my attitude. It got to a point where it was such a daily occurrence that my Wife, Courtenay, had a nickname for when I was in this mood, “Danny Downer”. My wife and I found that I was always angry and sad for some reason or other. For the longest time before seeking medical help I tried dealing with my issue on my own. I tried things I found on the internet and tried to improve my mood by buying material goods. This didn’t last long as spending money really stressed me out making things worse. There are a lot of posts on the internet on dealing with depression. The truth is, Dr. Google as I call the internet, has just as much good information as it has bad information. Everyone deals with their problems in their own way.

One of my biggest issues was not being able to make decisions and not being able to focus. My depression started to affect my job. I found I felt I had to work extra hard to keep my job. My job also became an extra source of stress on me as I work in the Oil and Gas sector, which was entering a bust cycle. I went to work every day worried about losing my job and saw many of my colleges around me laid off. I was so stressed out I found myself using at least one sick day a month.

I came to learn that depression can be a very vicious cycle. It was easier to become more and more depressed than it was to be happy. I had many more bad days than I had good days and the more I thought about being depressed the more stressed I got which made me even more depressed! At one point my depression struck me so hard that I became impotent. Over time I became very sexually frustrated and had low stamina or self-confidence. I scared me because I have never not been able to perform before. Impotency for me was a huge turning point in my life I told myself I had to seek medical attention.

I first sought help with my family doctor, I explained to her my situation and how I was depressed to the point I became impotent. She explained to me how depression is very hard to diagnose and treat because it is more a psychological condition than a physical condition. The very first thing I agreed to try was talking to a psychologist. The Psychologist gave me many ideas on how to deal with my issue. The ideas were as simple as writing out the issue that I thought was making me sad. However, for me personally the Psychologist was not effective in treating my depression.

The second step that my family Doctor and I took was to draw some blood work and test my hormone levels. My hormone levels were on the low side but still within a safe range. On a side note, I discovered my cholesterol was a bit high and my thyroid level was on the low side. Otherwise I was healthy.

The third step that the Doctor took was sending me for a test to see if there was anything wrong with my man hood. The procedure that they performed is called a Cystoscopy. Esentially what happens is a camera is inserted up in your penis to have an internal look. The Doctor that did the procedure noticed lots of scar tissues. He explained to me that the scar tissue was pretty old and probably caused when I was young. He determined it was nothing to be alarmed about. At this point my family doctor gave me some Viagra 50mG tabs and I was advised to take only a half a pill at a time. For me the Viagra made my life so much better. Firstly, it took the pressure of the performance issues and secondly, It made me feel good to be able to pleasure my wife sexually again. This was a huge reward for me.

I was prescribed Cymbalta by my family Doctor a short time later. Cymbalta is a drug that treats two things: depression and anxiety. The prescription caused me at first to be a little messed up. I experienced hallucinations and a bit of a rash. I was warned about these symptoms which went away within a couple days. After about a week, both my Wife and I noticed a significant change in my moods and overall being. Danny Downer was gone! I joined a gym and committed to going 5 days a week for months. I could think things through and I stopped being angry all the time. Although I was happier and recovering from the depression, my impotency was one issue I was not able to solve right away. One of the side effects of Cymbalta is impotency. I ended up using a fair bit of Viagra at first. After about 11 months I made a choice to wean myself off the Cymbalta. I felt that my mood, attitude and overall health was good enough that I could live without it. I have been off the Cymbalta since November 15 2016, and my overall well-being is still good. There are days I feel down but they don’t happen very often. My impotency is also fading away over time as well.

After thinking about my depression, I am convinced it was induced by stress. I still have quite a bit of stress, but I am finding ways to deal with it.

Thanks for reading, I hope that you may have found this topic helpful.

-Daniel

 

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