love and lust

People now a day because of movies and music get love and lust mixed up when talking about relationships. The media says that everything in a relationship must be perfect for a relationship to work. That includes the stereotypical girl weighing 105 pounds and the male being ripped and loaded with money. Reality is that people in successful relationships don’t look at people based on the image. This is where lust and love fits in. If you were to look at the public and pick a partner based on how they look, you might get lucky and find that single person that is right for you but chances are you may score for a single night but it doesn’t work out. Night clubs profit on this principle. They throw a bunch of horny people in a room with alcohol and generally 5 out of 10 people go home with someone and maybe 1 couple makes it.

In my opinion you can have lust without love such as in the club scene, but people can’t have love without lust. Love is defined as a connection between 2 people with many parameters including lust and lust is defined as a physical and/or sexual attraction to someone.

Online dating has made dating easier for many people, by simply clicking a mouse button you can search thru hundreds of profiles with pictures. Unfortunately having your photo online can work against you. If a person doesn’t look like a ten out of ten most people will just ignore you without giving you a chance. I recently interviewed a few people about online dating, one of the interviews society would rate as a zero out of ten and the other would get rated ten out of ten. Sure, enough the zero doesn’t ever get anything but hook up requests and the ten out of ten goes on actual dates.

I was lucky because my time was before online dating, I found my soul mate in high school. We had a great connection early in our relationship. I thought she was the prettiest person ever and the smartest of our time. I had lust for her, I wanted her the second I saw her and after months of dating I had her. Our relationship like others didn’t start off perfect and Just like in every relationship we had to compromise. Making compromises for your relationship is a great show of love.  As an example, for the first 11 years of our relationship my wife was against having children where as I wanted children. It’s just recently 2 years ago she changed her mind on children.

When you have a good relationship where you both love each other you do things for each other without expecting anything in return. Whereas if you have a relationship built on lust somethings you do things just for sex. I myself have done many things for our relationship in a show of love this includes buying a massage table and learning some professional techniques to massage my Wife. Not everything you do for love must be complicated, things as simple as going to the parent in-laws for dinner can add to love in the relationship.

If you need a reason why love is important in a relationship, think about people who are impotent or have medical conditions that doesn’t allow a couple to perform. They find their partners attractive but sometimes are unable to fulfill their partner. That doesn’t stop the couple from being happy and loving each other. However, they still show an attraction towards their partner. There for you can have love without lust.


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